Page 7 - KnightTime News Fall 2018

KNIGHTtime News
GUIDING YOUR COLLEGE PROCESS
process and can handle things on your own, and let them know your plan if you’re stuck or need help.
➤Mentally prepare. There will be ups and downs, admits and denies, deferrals and waitlists. Try to think ahead about how those might feel. Identify those feelings and think about how to cope. A denial never feels good for anyone, but how will you handle it in the moment? How will you handle feeling happy for your highs but sad for your friends’ lows (and vice versa)?
➤This process does not de ne you. This one is the most important. When a college releases a decision at 2:00 pm, remember you are the same exact YOU at 2:01 pm as you were at 1:59 pm, whether you get good news or bad news. Nothing about who you are, and what you care about, changes in that moment. You’re not de ned by news.
And a little for the parents...
Than Healy and Barack Obama both speak these (paraphrased) words
of wisdom: “Having a child is like watching your heart walk around outside your body.” It’s natural to
be emotionally involved in a huge developmental milestone for your child. It’s natural to want to help, learn, shape, and in uence, too. Soon, though, it will be over, and at the end of the college application process, a child is leaving home.
As families operate as ecosystems, this will come as an adjustment
“REMIND YOUR CHILDREN THEY ARE NOT DEFINED BY OUTCOMES, AND THAT YOU WILL LOVE THEM THE EXACT SAME WAY NO MATTER WHAT. THAT’S THE BEST CARE THEY COULD RECEIVE. “
for everyone, and there are bound to be pent-up emotions and misunderstandings. We’re often asked by parents, “What can I
do? How can I be helpful and not a hindrance?”The best you can do for your children during the process is to normalize struggle and imperfection, and to remind them, in various ways, you love them unconditionally. In the face
of disappointing news, remember the wise words of Brene Brown: “Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain. But instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.” Remind your children they are not de ned by outcomes, and that you will love them the exact same way no matter what. That’s the best care they could receive.
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